cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
