At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
