So drunk its hurt
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize