How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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