How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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