So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
