I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
