Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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