I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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