her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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