drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Boobs are out for the taking
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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