Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
are you so shy because you have an std?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize