What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
