she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Your cock deserves a montage
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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