Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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