the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
