Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i don't like sucking hair
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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