Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
