She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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