but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
