what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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