I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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