Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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