I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
