also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
