There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
this beer tastes like vomit already
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
