A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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