wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
