Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
