4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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