They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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