Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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