The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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