I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
