some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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