i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
