do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
