just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
