i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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