I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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