I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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