Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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