So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
