Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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