so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
it glows. i had to have it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
