im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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