My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
