I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
