I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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