called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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