In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
