I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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