After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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