I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
