STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
