I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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