You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
