I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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