Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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