are you so shy because you have an std?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
