Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
