I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
