i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
where are my pants?
in the oven.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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