I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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