I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
