So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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