Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
